Whatever you do, don't sneeze

Holy hell. I sneezed at work this morning and felt like I was going to die. My chest exploded and all my intenal organs sprayed across the room as I sat in agony holding what was left of my torso. This is what I looked like after the big sneeze. ->

OK, so maybe it wasn't that bad, but it didn't feel very good. Plus my nipples aren't that bloody most of the time.